A Guide to Modern Day Yoga Poses (Asanas)

“Yoga se hi hoga”, was the resounding agreement by practitioners and students alike, on the recent International Yoga Day that went by. Social media was flooded with testimonies of miracle cases, crediting the ancient discipline to have sorted everything out from their kundalini to their cash flow.  

Just like everything else, millennials haven’t taken long to modify this centuries-old tradition to their justifiably jet-set lifestyles. Be it Hatha or Ashtanga, this generation has put their own fresh spin on postures. In case you’ve not come across these before, follow the guide below to perfect your pose. Here are 5 asanas for health, wealth, luck and the subtle art of not giving a fudge:

  1. Selfie- Asana

The most common of them all, and the most effective. Raise your hand at an optimum level to take the selfie, making sure to raise the chin to not show a balding forehead. Tilt face to flattering angle and proceed to click. It may take sometime until you are happy with the outcome, so don’t bother about your surroundings. Breathe. If you get knocked over, you will fall into the lap of Mother Nature (cliff/ ocean/ passers-by/ dog poop).

Selfie-Asana

2. Crouching-Laptop-Hidden-Tummy Asana

You would require a bed for this asana. The less firm the mattress the better, and preferably no backrest. Take laptop and position it somewhere on the upper abdomen such that the neck is at a right angle with the rest of the body. Keep face as close to the screen as possible, and make sure the radiation heat from the laptop is felt. Feel your brain numb into nothingness, till you reach a point of nirvana.

Crouching-Tummy-Hidden-Laptop Asana

3. Brood-Asana

Best suited to Instagram and perfected by Kylie Jenner, this asana may require an idyllic setting as a backdrop. Kneel on the floor and jut out your posterior as you would in a squat. Rest your elbows on the knees and tilt head. Place fingers near lips, as if brooding over world issues. Adjust exhalation depending on how sombre you want to be perceived as.

Brood-Asana

4. Slouch- Asana

The best part about this asana is that it can be practised any time; while waiting in ATM queues, at movie ticket counters or grocery billing lines.  Droop shoulders to the original level of your armpits. Protude your tummy to align with your toes. Your spine should resemble a paper clip. Make sure to breathe heavily and audibly, allowing your tummy to visibly contract and expand with each breath.

Slouch- Asana

5. Pout-Asana

While there are many versions of this asana, it is practise that makes perfect. Make sure to prep lips in advance, with lip gloss, fillers or a bee sting. Stick out your hip as if about to pick something up from the floor. Keep upper spine erect. Now pucker up the lips, close one eye and make a peace sign with your free hand. Repeat until perfected.

Pout-Asana

And there you have it folks! It takes a lot to make it to dos on time, return phone calls and wrestle with FOMO, all the while stressing about one’s abysmal savings after splurging on a new handbag. But with a few minutes of daily practice, you too can partake of the benefits of these asanas, all the living the millennial high life. Happy Yoga!

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2 Comments

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      Thank you so much! I live for the appreciation! 😀


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